i was waving my finger at Monsieur le JP's vaguely diminutive frustration towards people who've invariably developed crushes on him. seeing as he's a very crushworthy individual, how can one be angry or frustrated with those who become smitten?
he corrected me: "people develop crushes on their idea of me"
a good point. how true that is. isn't that the Constant problem of crushes? we have some idea of what/who we are seeing in front of us, that speaks to what we are looking for, and we don't look any further. and then we get angry when that person isn't the lifesaver we thought we had found.
another friend of mine recently told me about a book she had been reading where this was addressed as well, (in this case it was specific to guys, but i'm sure us ladies are guilty of similiar practise) it read that there is this tendency to glorify women or put them on some sort of pedestal of perfection, and then spend the entire aftermath of the honeymoon being frustrated and disappointed when you find out they fart, burp, stress out, and won't save you from yourself.
of course one can only know someone from the facts presented. if you present yourself as an all-knowing glorious superhero, that is what people will be attracted to. and when they discover that beneath your manly superhero cape are merely (ahem) tattered old y-fronts, a slingshot, and a mickey in a paper bag, there will be, invariably, disappointment.
one must present oneself as one is.
which is precisely why i present myself as a nutter in a constant panic.