04 June 2005

email minutiae.

okay, so it's not quite a real post. but i want to take a moment to relay a few bits'n'bobs from my world of email addiction that afforded me momentary respite over the last 10 days, and yes, for those of you who may be interested, i handed said 10 Utterly Completed illustrations to TPM today, and i think they were quite well received. WOOHOO! more details when i know for sure when the site is going up, when they are getting printed, etc.

so. for now, let's see.

••• tea for the perpetually melancholic in the afterlife•••

B: Pfft - it doesn't get easier really, as one gets older - 'cause even
with the hard won wisdom, the stakes just get higher and higher.

s: Quiet. leave me with my optimism. i need some right now.

B: Oh come on, I'm having a bad week, indulge me a little.

s: oh okay. it's all Hell and Misery. i agree. :] should we get plots
nearby so we can enjoy some post-mortem tea in the afterlife?

B: Absolutely - we can make tea from the ashes in the funeral urns.

••• the odiferous and ungainly nature of emotional residue.•••

s: I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT. i need to unload some emotional residue somewhere. somehow.

B: Ha!

s: i tried to unload it in someone's trash heap on my way home from the book launch tonight, but some fat bastard chased after me "hey lady, you left your emotional residue here. HEY. they don't pick that shit up for days and it starts smelling! go unload it in your own neighbourhood."
sigh. i had to be a good citizen and heed him. Rats.

B: How much emotional residue can anyone stand in one lifetime?

s: oh Christ. i DO NOT KNOW. i'm surprised i'm not Fat with all the residue i'm carrying around. where is it, i tell you? in the (snicker) "shapely largesse" of my biker's thighs? in my bum?
i just figured it out.
it's in my voluminous hair.
only yesterday i was commenting that my hair is now getting heavier than my head when i wear it up. Hilarious. i've just discovered it. how Apropos.

••• on how not to scare off the easily intimidated.•••

B: Slow down, smile more at the cute ones, talk more slowly, approach people etc. I don't know.

s: harrumph. talk more slowly. it's like asking the tsunami to hold up a minute please, while i get my pool noodle and move my beach chair out of the way.


Paula said...

Due to the lack of interesing conversations I've had as of late, I've decided to make up my own by taking bits and pieces from your emails and created a little something. I named the characters having this conversation Stan and Larry. Enjoy! (and I do realize that there are elements of this little creation that are quite inappropriate...and for that I apologize. I'm kinda tired. So, I won't be offended at all if you choose to not post this comment. Exhaustion... WWHHHEEE!!)

Stan: Pfft. Optimism.

Larry: Oh come on, indulge me a little.

Stan: it's all Hell and Misery.

Larry: Absolutely.

Stan: i need to unload.

Larry: Ha!

Stan: I tried to unload in some fat bastard. Rats.

Larry: Can anyone stand?

Stan: Christ. where is it, in my bum? how Apropos.

Larry: talk more slowly.

Stan: Harrumph. Pool noodle.

steflenk said...

there's a certain je ne said quoi about ending a dialogue between stan and larry with a pool noodle.

steflenk said...

oh yes. well done.
and Pshaw to inappropriate.
(well, where fictional characters are concerned anyhow)

Paula said...

I decree (and I allowed to decree things seeing as I am not of noble birth?) that from henceforward, all conversations must end in the words "Pool Noodle".

Pool Noodle.