10 January 2005

aahhh, anxiety.

what better bedfellow to fetter myself with in this dreary month of january?

the national anxiety foundation states that one of the symptoms of a panic attack is when "familiar things feel odd"

like oneself?

then again, when was the last time i actually felt "familiar" to myself, even. oh mope.

although i must confess to the beginnings of familiarity with this shell of mine reacting when anxiety starts, in a real physical way. i'm usually running around so much that i can't feel any change, but now i can, kindda. it's like a caffeine rush, without the caffeine. weird wonderful bodies, even Weirder, not-so-wonderful but Definitely Powerful thought, that can treat us like a triple expresso on a most nominal whim.

but enough about my trivial worries.
i was looking for your everyday "calm down" mantra collection, but, courtesy of google i found this "national anxiety foundation" website, with its following categories as alleviation treatments for americans experiencing terrorism panic attacks.
i post this for your re-evaluation, dear readers. i mean, REALLY. sounds like a bloody "keep shopping" advert.

"listen to a Carl Hurley tape"?! who the Bloody Hell is carl hurley?
enlist in the armed forces"? "buy a PET"? Unbe-fucking-lievable.
oh, and Here's one:
"Allocate only a reasonable amount of time to each of your stresses" GOD OF COCKS WHAT'S A REASONABLE AMOUNT OF...(ahem) i mean, What is a reasonable amount of time to allocate for each of my stresses?

read it all below, folks, Unbelievable.

oh, and i would also like to point out the primary recipients under the "give to charity" section, namely "church", followed by (drum roll) "national anxiety foundation". how clever they are.

* Fly airlines again
* Travel on business and for pleasure
* Invest in securities
* Enlist in the armed forces
* Fly or display an American flag
* Register to vote (and vote)
* Run for public office
* Read a novel
* Engage in a hobby
* Paint the house
* Buy a pet
* Get back to your everyday routines.
"Hope for the best. Be prepared for the worst"
* Have 3 gallons of drinking water per person stored.
* Have food that does not require refrigeration or cooking.
* Have a flashlight and batteries, matches and candles.
* Have some currency cash on hand.
* Have a weeks supply of regularly taken medications.
Decrease stimulus
* Turn off excessive TV news
* Change the topic in conversation from catastrophe, doom and worry
* Exercise
* Go to bed early
* Take a hike in the woods with your family or friends
* Do something that you enjoy like going for a drive, or playing with your dog.
* Put your feelings into words
* Talk to a friend about your fears. Listen to their fears.
* Write a journal to express your thoughts and feelings
* Allocate only a reasonable amount of time to each of your stresses
* Go to church
* Donate to Charity (church, National Anxiety Foundation, Red Cross, Salvation Army)
* Prayer
* Listen to a Carl Hurley tape
* Watch a comedian monologue about terrorism
* Read political cartoons
Reason and Logic
* Stop expecting the worst
* Think of how very unlikely harm is to come to you or your loved ones
For Children:
* Tell them that they really are safe.
* Keep to your usual routines.
* Keep them from seeing too many frightening pictures of the events.
* Teach them repeatedly not to play with white powder as a joke or prank. It is not funny. It is illegal. It is disrespectful to their country and their fellow man.
* Teach them to respect all people including Muslims and those appear to be "Persian".

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